Back To Neptune
by hogwartschck
Summary: It's time for the five year reunion and the past that Veronica has tried sohard to forget comes back to her. Oh yeah, everything is the same from the second season, but Meg didn't die. Duncan and Veronica did break up in the second season though.
1. Chapter 1

CHAPTER 1

I threw my mail down on the coffee table before collapsing on the couch. I knew I had to look at it, but first I needed to make my weekly call to Dad. I was already almost late.

"Hey honey, how was another week working on the Brooklyn Police Force?" he asked as he answered the phone.

"How'd you know know it was me?" I asked skeptically.

"For one: you always call at this time, every week, for two: I'm psychic," he teased back.

"Really?" I asked, my voice full of false hope, "Then why don't you tell me about my week?"

"How's Alyssa doing?" he asked in response, ignoring my comment.

"Fine as far as I know she's not with me at the moment," I replied.

"Hey Keith," I heard the unmistakable sound of Alicia kissing my father, "Tell Veronica I said hello."

"Am I really that predictible?" I asked, dropping all the sarcasm. "I say hi back, by the way," I added after a moment.

"Of course you are V, you've called at the same time every week for the past year, since you've ended college," Wallace answered.

"Hello little brother, I see I'm now on speaker, aren't I?" I replied with an eye roll, ignoring the fact that I'm predictable.

"Yes honey, are you going to tell us all about your week?" my dad replied.

I sighed, "It was normal. I have to go now though. I'll talk to you all next week," I said. They all said goodbye and I closed my cell phone.

I leaned back on my couch, remembering Dad and Alicia's wedding three years ago. They had started dating again when I went away to Stanford for college, all thanks to the Kane scholarship fund for that, and Dad had proposed a year and a half later.

That wedding was one of the only times I had set foot in Neptune since I graduated high school. I just hadn't been able to bring myself to go back for any other reason. Occasionally I went for the holidays, but other than those handful of days I made up any excuse to stay away from Neptune.

I looked up at the clock and decided to order pizza because I didn't want to cook. Once I ordered the pizza I decided to look at my mail to pass the time until Jacob got home.

I had been dating Jacob for a full year before we decided to move in with each other after college. We had moved to Brooklyn because that was where he had family and I certainatly didn't want to go back to Neptune for more than a couple days at a time. The only thing that kept me going back was my family.

I was brought out of my thoughts though by a letter in my hand. The rest had been junk and bills, but I was sure this was from Neptune. One look in the corner confirmed my thoughts that the letter was from Neptune High. I spent a few minutes wondering what that high school wanted with me before turning the letter over and ripping it open.

_Dear student,_

_It has been five years sine your graduation and it's now time for your five year reunion. Come on September 1st to the Neptune High Gym and become reaqquainted with old friends and teachers. We hope to see you there at 3:00._

I stopped reading as I realized Jacob was reading over my shoulder, "Are you going?" he asked before giving me a kiss on the forehead.

"Why should I?" I asked quickly in reply, pushing away our pitbull, Charger.

"Well, you went with me to mine last month, what's wrong with going to yours?" he shot back just as quick.

"I'm not going back to that high school," I said defiantly.

"Why not Veronica?" he asked, sitting next to me.

"There is just too much past there that I don't want brought up again. It's just too soon. I wasn't planning on going back until a 10 year reunion, if that," I replied.

"What happened back there that was so bad?" he asked, his hazel eyes examining me like I was a specimen in a science lab.

I started shaking my head, but before I got a chance to speak the doorbell rang. I sighed, "Pizza's here," I said as I got up.

Once I paid the man I set the box down on the kitchen table before sitting down again. I didn't feel like eating.

"You're avoiding my question Veronica," Jacob said. He hadn't moved since the doorbell rang.

"I just can't answer it right now," I replied, "I'm going to go to bed," I stood and walked into the bedroom. I changed into my pajamas and climbed into bed, but was still awake when Jacob climbed into bed sometime later.

I dreamt of things that I hadn't dreamt of in years. Once I woke I cursed that reunion before looking over at the clock. I decided it was late enough for me to get up and take Charger for a walk, so I quietly got out of bed.

Once I got back Jacob had already left for work, but I had expected that and just hopped in the shower. Once I got out I put on my uniform and drove off to work.

* * *

It was another normal day and before I knew it I was walking into the house, getting ready to take Charger for his evening walk. It had been a week since I had gotten the invitation to the reunion and I had dreamt about Neptune every night since then. Never good dreams either.

Once I got back from the run and had taken a shower I settled down with my mail before calling my dad. I wasn't going to be predictable. I was going to call later than usual. Once I read my mail and stalled for a few minutes I was about to pick up my cell phone when it rang.

"Hello," I answered. The caller ID had said unknown caller so I knew it couldn't have been my dad.

"Veronica?" a familiar voice answered from the other end. "I know you probably don't really want to speak to me, but I need your help," he got straight to the point and I was glad. I didn't exactly want to have small talk with Duncan Kane.

I sighed, "What do you need Duncan?" I asked.

"Meg's been kidnapped," he said, completely shocking me, "I want you to find out who did it. I'll pay you a lot of money for this Veronica. Please," his voice was pleading. I knew I couldn't turn him down, but I really really wanted to.

"What makes you think I'll be in town?" I answered, stalling my acceptment of the job.

"You aren't coming for the reunion?" he asked and I knew he had his eyebrow raised. I could picture the look on his face.

"I hadn't planned on it, no," I replied. He was silent and after a moment I sighed, giving in, "Fine Duncan. I'll be there within a couple days to get all the information," I paused as the door opened and Jacob walked in. "I'll talk to you later. I have to go," I said.

"Thanks Veronica. I always knew I could count on you," he said, "bye," he added after a moment.

"Bye Duncan," I said as I snapped my cell phone shut. "Hi Jacob," I said as he gave me a kiss on the forehead.

"Who was that?" he asked as he placed the Chinese takeout I'd asked him to get earlier on the counter.

"Just an old," I had been about to say wound, but knew better, "friend," I took a deep breath. "He needed a favor. I have to go back to Neptune within the next couple of days.

He raised an eyebrow at me, "So you'll go back for this guy, but not for your reunion?" he asked.

"I didn't mean it to be that way. I guess it is though. He needs my help. I've never declined a friend help yet," I stated. "I don't think you should go though. I might be there a while," I said.

"What? What is the favor he needs exactly?" he asked.

"He needs me to figure out who kidnapped his wife," I answered. "His wife is another one of my old friends," I added.

"Veronica, I think it's good that you're going, but I won't wait for you forever," he said looking me in the eyes.

I nodded, "I never asked you to," I stated simply.

"I love you Veronica. I know you love me too, but you're not in love with me. You needed me to help you get over whatever happened," he said, his eyes still watching me as I avoided his gaze.

"I knew I should have never hooked up with a Psychology major. You're too good at what you do," I laughed as I finally met his gaze.

He smiled, "I'm right though. I think it's best if I'm not here when you get back."

I nodded and went back to avoiding his gaze. "I need to call my dad. I haven't yet this week," I said, getting my cell phone and walking into the other room. I closed the door behind me and dialed the number.

"Veronica, why are you so late in calling. I was thinking something had happened to you," my dad answered the phone.

"Is that Veronica?" I heard Alicia ask.

"Yes this is Veronica. I'm fine, just was trying to be unpredictable. I told you I wasn't," I replied.

"You still are Veronica, even if you didn't call at the right time," Wallace put in.

"Yeah, after they told me about the conversation last week no one really expected you to call at the same time this week," I heard Jackie's voice.

"Hey Jackie, how are you?" I rolled my eyes, deciding to ignore what she said.

"Fine," she replied.

"Okay, Honey, what's up?" Dad asked.

"Well, I wanted to tell you I'm going to be back in Neptune in a couple of days because Duncan wants me to work on Meg's kidnapping. Was anyone going to tell me that Meg was kidnapped?" I asked, my voice sounding hurt.

"We planned on it," Wallace paused, "Eventually," he finished.

I rolled my eyes again at this, "She was my friend. I would have wanted to know. You guys should know that," I replied.

"You're right, I should have told you right when I picked up the phone," my dad said.

"Well, I have to pack and stuff. I'll see you guys in a day or two," I said shortly.

Everyone said bye and I closed my cell before walking out of the room to eat some of the Chinese food Jacob had brought.

* * *

I sighed and knocked on the door to Jacob's mother's house. It was time for me to go to Neptune and time for me to pick Alyssa up. I had cleared with work that I might be gone for a while and that I would give them details as to how much longer every week.

Jacob had moved out of the house yesterday after finding a studio in record time. I hadn't expected him to be gone so quickly and sleeping without him last night proved to be harder than expected. I had had more bad dreams and the bed had felt empty.

I was brought out of my thoughts as the door opened and I noticed Alyssa running towards me with a shout of "Mommy!" I bent down and scooped my four year old daughter into my arms, twirling her.

**A/N:This is my first Veronica Mars fic so I don't expect it to be that good. I just really liked this idea so I decided to write it. Please review it and tell me what you think.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Veronica Mars, no matter how much I wish that I do, I just don't.**


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

I looked back to check that my daughter was asleep and, sure enough, she still was. She fell asleep no more than 10 minutes into the car ride and I hadn't expected anything else. She looked exactly like me, except for her brown hair. I wasn't sure where she got that from. The man I knew to be her father did not have brown hair.

I knew who that was, but hadn't given them the courtsey of telling him. The only people from Neptune that I had talked to since the summer of my senior year was my family. I felt kind of bad for my good friends, like Mac and Meg, with whom I had reconciled our friendship after she had had Duncan's daughter, but I had wanted to just bring myself away from it.

I knew I needed them in a way, but it just hurt to much to remember. It was hard enough coming back for the few holidays that I did, but my family tried not to talk about all the people I once knew.

I was brought out of my thoughts as I puled to a park in front of the Camelot. Why I chose this particular hotel, I wasn't even sure, it was just an impulse. I got out of the car and got Alyssa out, leaving my bags in the car until I had a room.

I managed to pay for the room and get Alyssa in and on the bed without waking her. The manager had given me a room that I knew was close to the place where I had first kissed Logan and I tried to push the memory away as I got my bags and brought them up the steps.

I just sat on the bed, stroking Alyssa's hair and basking in memories until she woke up. After she woke we went and got lunch before I took her to where my dad and Alicia currently lived.

"Grandpa," she shouted as he picked her up into a bear hug. He set her down and then grasped me in a hug that I knew was much stronger than the one he gave her.

"She still looks exactly like you," my dad commented as he stood back to look at me, "Except for the hair," he added after a moment.

I nodded. "Where's everyone else?" I asked.

"Alicia and Jackie are shopping for stuff for Jackie and Wallace's second child and Wallace is at work while your other little brother is at school. Of course, Jackie and Alicia took Nicole with them," he added, refering to Wallace and Jackie's first child.

I nodded again, "I'll be back in a little while. Hopefully very soon. I just need to go pick up some things from the Kane house," I said before turning.

I heard my dad ask Alyssa if she wanted a sundae before the front door closed behind me. I rolled my eyes, knowing that my daughter would get very spoiled while with her grandparents.

The drive to the Kane house seemed considerably shorter then I remembered. Jake and Celeste had left town a year after I did and Duncan had moved back into it with Meg after they had married. All this I had found out from my father when I had talked to him the day before.

I knocked on his door and was suprised when Duncan opened it instead of a maid.

"Veronica, I'm glad you could come do this for me, come in," he greeted me.

"Why am I here Duncan? I know that the Sheriffs department isn't all that great, but why do you need me to do this?" I asked as I walked into his house.

"You're the best Veronica. We both know that the Sheriff won't find her as fast as you can. You're the only one I trust to find her before something happens," he said as he handed me a manila envelop.

I was about to speak, but was interrupted by a little girl running through the room. Duncan caught her by the arm and looked at her sternly, "Now Lily, we both know that you're not supposed to run in the house," he tried to keep his voice stern but was failing miserably.

"Who's that?" the little girl of about five, I guessed logically, asked, pointing to me.

"You also know it's rude to point, but that is Veronica Mars. She was a friend of mine in high school," he replied and I smiled at her. She had grown to have a very stong resemblence to the aunt she never knew.

She smiled and we exchanged greetings before she went back upstairs into her bedroom.

"Now, Duncan, where was the last place she was known to be?" I asked once her footsteps had disappeared.

Duncan, without saying anything, led me to the pool, the same place the original Lily had died and told me who saw her and what had been happened when they realized she was missing.

After about 10 minutes I had gathered all the information I needed and left Duncan's house. I decided to stop by Mac's house before going to my dad's and was shocked to find Dick Casablancas sitting in the living room with his arm around Mac when I was led into the living room.

"Wow, not something I expected," I commented as I walked into the living room. Both Mac and Dick looked at me, shocked, for a moment before Mac jumped up and gave me a hug.

"Well, as much as I'd like to stay and chat with you Veronica, I just don't think I will," Dick said as he stood.

"Well, I wouldn't want to strain your brain," I snarked back as he left the room. I rolled my eyes, "Why is he here?" I asked, turning back to her.

"Well," she started hesitantly, "he's my husband," she said finally.

"You married Dick Casablancas?" I asked, "He's such a," I paused, searching for the right word, "dick," I finally said.

"He's different V, I love him. Of course you'd know that if you hadn't dropped off the face of the planet after graduation," she looked at me with raised eyebrows.

I sighed and dropped myself down on the couch, "You know how I am. I saw graduation as the perfect getaway. I run from things. I chose not to deal with it all. Neptune holds to many memories," I sighed and paused again.

"So what have you been doing the past five years? Besides avoiding the past?" she asked, sitting back onto the couch. I could tell that she hadn't entirely forgiven me yet.

"I went to Stanford with the Kane scholarship then moved to Brocklyn with the guy I was seeing. We've lived together for the past year."

"Was seeing? Does that mean you're not seeing him anymore?" she asked as she settled into a more comfortable position, seemingly forgetting that she was mad at me.

"Yeah, we just ended our relationship. How have things been going for you here?" I asked, trying to change the subject.

She noticed and went along with it, "Well, Dick and I went to the same college and we got married almost immediately after gratuating. I'm working with computers now and Dick is starting his own business. Right now I'm pregnant," she said the last part in a rush.

"I can tell you're happy and I'm happy for you Mac. I've missed you. How far along are you?" I asked.

"Just three months. I haven't started showing yet," she shrugged. "Did you plan on going to the reunion tonight?" she asked.

I knew she had been waiting to ask that question, "Not really, no. I have a confession. I have a child myself," I decided it would be better if she heard it from me than anyone else.

"Really? Who is the father?" she asked, her voice lowering.

"I'm not ready to speak that out loud. I'd rather the father know first and I'm just not ready to tell him that I've kept his child away from him for four years," I replied.

"Girl or boy? Does she look like you or her father?" she responded, still anxious for information, even if she was still curious about the father.

"She looks like me, except she has brown hair, which I'm not exactly sure where she got that from. She is with my dad right now, no doubt being spoiled," I said.

"You really should go to the reunion you know. I think it would be good for you," she took a different road, traveling back to an earlier subject.

"I'm not going," I said, my decision final.

"Don't make me force you, Veronica Mars," she sighed. I didn't say anything, not willing to admit to anything, but knowing that she probably could force me. "You owe me V, all the favors I did for you. Then you ditch me."

I closed my eyes, knowing that she was right. "Fine, I'll go, but after I do, we're even," I said, my eyes still closed.

"I knew you'd understand. I'll see you there," she said and I could hear the smile in her voice. I heard her stand and knew that she was looking at me expectantly, waiting for me to leave so that she could get ready.

"I'm not leaving until you agree that we're even," I said, opening my eyes again.

"Fine," she agreed after a moment of pause, "we're even."

I smiled as I stood, "I'll see you soon," I said as I hugged her. She nodded and from the look in her eyes she had left a 'You better' unsaid. I walked out of the house shaking my head, she was almost as good now as I used to be at forcing people to do things. Either that, or I was now easier to force into doing things.

Even as I thought that I knew that I was never forced into doing something I didn't want to do and that Mac would never force me to do something I didn't want to do. I knew that some part of me wanted to go to the reunion, even if I didn't really want to admit it.

I tried not to let my thoughts wander away from the road as I drove home, but it seemed that the more I tried the harder it became. I was thankful when I stopped in front of the house and was able to let my thoughts wander without having to worry about possibly getting into an accident.

I opened the door to the house without knocking and called for my daughter. It was only a moment before she came running down the hall way, followed by my dad, Alicia, Wallace, Jackie and Nicole, in that order.

"Are you guys going to the reunion?" I asked Jackie and Wallace after I had greeted everybody and we were sitting down in the living room. I pulled Alyssa into my lap as Wallace replied with a yes. "I'm going with you," I said.

"I thought you weren't going," Jackie stated as my father said, "Are you sure you're okay with that?"

I held up my hand for them to let me speak, "Since when have I ever been forced to do something I didn't want to do?" I asked as I rolled my eyes. "I'm going to go back to the hotel and I'll meet you two at the reunion." I said to Wallace and Jackie. "Dad, will you watch Alyssa?" I asked turning to him and Alicia.

"Of course, Alicia and I will be happy to," he said, his eyes still examining mine.

I smiled my thanks and kissed Alyssa's forehead before standing and walking out of the house to my car. I focused my attention to the road and made it to the Camelot safely.

I ran upstairs and changed my clothes, putting on some light make-up and curling my hair before grabbing my purse and leaving the hotel room again.

The reunion wasn't any different than I expected it to be. It was just like high school with all the stares and whispers and I found myself wishing I hadn't come as I looked for Jackie and Wallace.

"Well, look who it is," I heard the familar voice call out from behind me, "How have you been Ronniekins?" the voice of the last person I had wanted to see asked.

**A/N: Thanks so much to the people who reviewed the first chapter. Your reiews made me happy! Just let me say this, I have this fic written out already, so I'm sorry if I can't take your suggestions that much. Let me say this though, I won't reveal the father until the next chapter and that Logan is in this fic. I'm for LoVe all the way. May I also say that Duncan isn't even a possibility for Alyssa's father. I don't care for Duncan much either. I guess there's nothing more to say, other than Review, Review, Review!!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Veronica Mars, or the characters. I do, however, own the ones that I made up, like Alyssa and Nicole.**


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

"Hello Logan," I said as I turned around. "If you don't mind, I'd rather skip all the snarky comments and insults for right now. You'll just have to restrain yourself for like a day or two, okay?" I asked with pretend cheeriness as I turned back around. I was about to leave the place, planning on speaking to Wallace and Jackie later, when I heard Logan's voice again.

"You look beautiful Ronica," he said in a voice so soft and full of emotion that I almost didn't recognize it as his.

I resisted the impulse to run away again and turned to face him once more. "What, I left for five years and that's the first thing that comes out of your mouth. Hmm, has Logan Echolls really changed?" I snarked, hoping that he would just hate me.

"I'm not going to hate you Ronnie. Can we please just talk?" he asked, his eyes pleading.

I shook my head, "Not now, not here. I know we need to talk, but this is neither the time or the place," I replied, turning to walk away again. I didn't turn back when he said my name again. I kept walking with my head down. I didn't even notice where I was going until I ran into someone.

I looked up into the eyes of another person who I hadn't expected to see tonight. 'Wow,' I thought to myself, 'this night is sure becoming full of suprises.'

"Deputy, what are you doing here?" I asked because I hadn't been expecting him.

"Why do you think I'm here Veronica? I'm here to see you. You just disappeared after that summer. It's not Deputy anymore, by the way. I'm the Sheriff, now," he said, shocking me.

"Since when?" I asked, trying to change the subject.

"Since about a year ago, when Lamb moved on to bigger and better things," he replied, then added, "Don't try to change the subject."

"Well, Sheriff," I put emphasis on the word, "I was just leaving. I know we need to talk, but not now. Now is just not the time," I said as I moved to walk past him.

He grabbed my arm. "You can't avoid it forever Veronica. We have to talk sometime. Why not now?" he asked in a low voice.

I sighed, "Well I figured here wasn't the place to tell you that I have a daughter and you might too," I said. He was shocked and his grip on my arm loosened. I took that as my chance to leave. I hurried out of the gym and was in my car, about to turn the key when I heard the passenger door open.

I turned to see Mac sitting next to me. "Leo?" she asked incredulously "He's the father of your daughter?" she continued. "But you guys ended during school. What happened the summer before college Veronica?" she asked.

"Too much," I took a deep breath as I pulled out of the Neptune High parking lot for what I hoped to be the last time. "You know I was with Logan that summer?" I asked.

She nodded before speaking. "Which is why I don't get why you had Leo's daughter. You have some 'splainin to do," she said in a spanish accent.

I couldn't help but laugh as I turned the corner. "Well, one night, right after Logan left, I forget where, I got extremely drunk. Well, the deputy crashed the party I was at and, because I was in no shape to drive, he took me home. Well, nine months later Alyssa arrived while I was attending Stanford and that was why I've stayed away as much as I could. I was ashamed that my cheating had resulted in a child. Don't get me wrong, I love her more than anything. I just wish she was a result of me being with the man I love more than anything," I said, the tears coming to my eyes.

I swallowed the tears as I pulled to a stop. I got out of the car and Mac followed. I walked into the house with her following close behind. I walked into the guest room and picked my daughter up into my arms. I shared a quick word with my dad and left the house. I put Alyssa in the back seat as Mac walked out of my dads house.

She waited until I had started driving to speak. "Do you still love Logan?" she asked.

"Yes," I answered truthfully, "but I can't tell him that. He'll never forgive me. It's much better off if he doesn't know I love him. Besides, I'm leaving again soon. I have to go back to work. I can't stay forever."

"Why can't you Veronica?" she asked. I looked at her as I stopped in the parking lot of the Camelot.

"Can we talk about this once we get into my room?" I asked. When she nodded I got out of the car and walked up to the room with my daughter in my arms and Mac following close behind.

Once I was seated on the balcony, after leaving my daughter on the bed, I decided to answer her question. She spoke before I could though.

"What the hell are you afraid of Veronica?" she asked as she sat down next to me. I was shocked at how well she knew me, but then realized that I shouldn't be suprised.

"I'm afraid that Logan will hate me because I cheated on him," I said in a soft voice. "I'm afraid that Leo will want me, him and our daughter to become a family together and that I would have to give up on Logan. I'm afraid that I'll have to be with Leo because of Alyssa. Most imortantly though, I'm afraid that Logan still loves me," I said.

"Why Veronica? You love Logan, why does his love scare you?" she asked, looking into my eyes. I broke the gaze and looked at my feet.

"I don't know. I guess I'm just afraid of love in general," I answered truthfully.

"Veronica, you wouldn't have to become a family with Leo and Alyssa just because he's her father. No one can force you to do something you don't wanna do. Alyssa has gotten along so far with out a father. I also don't think that he'll take your daughter from you if you're worried about that," she said.

"Now I remember why we were best friends," I laughed.

"Oh you mean it wasn't just because my mad computer skills?" she teased with a laugh. Then she got serious, "You really should tell Logan you love him."

"I can't Mac. I doubt he'll trust me, I don't even know if he should. He'll be happier with someone else. So I'll have to be the same way. This is just the way it has to be. Does anyone else know that Leo and I have a daughter together?" I asked.

"Nope, as far as I know Logan went out the other door when you walked away from him. No one else was near you and Leo. I didn't even hear, I just guessed," she replied. "I really have to get home though. Please, please think of doing what I said," she said as she stood.

"How are you getting home?" I asked as I stood as well.

"I'll call either a cab or my husband. I'll talk to you tomorrow," she said as she gave me a hug. I nodded before she walked back into the hotel room.

After a moment she enter the hotel room again and I heard her footsteps stop behind me.

"How are you so sure that Alyssa is Leo's and not Logan's?" she asked.

I turned and looked at her. "Well, I'm not," I said hesitantly.

"One more question. How do you know that Logan wouldn't love you're child like his own even if it is Leo's? How do you know he doesn't love you so much that he'd do anything to be with you?"

I turned back around and looked over the balcony, thinking. "That was two questions," I said as I saw Dick pull up.

She must have seen it too because she didn't say anything before she turned and walked away. I heard her footsteps echo through the hallways until they disappeared then I saw her get into Dick's car. She gave me one last significant look before he drove off.

I stood there, looking over the balcony and pondering what she said, for a while before I saw a yellow X-terra pull up.

I sighed as Logan called to me from down below, "Veronica. I need to talk to you. Now."

I sighed, not being able to avoid the inevitable anymore. "Room 465," I said, taking the room key out of my pocket and dropping it over the balcony. I watched him until he disappeared from my view and waited until I heard him open the door then walk through the room before I moved. I turned around to face the door as he opened it.

He handed me the key, but then stepped back and leaned against the wall as I leaned against the railing. I lost track of how long I held his gaze, it could have been mere seconds or it could have been hours. Neither of us said anything, but he slowly approached me, without breaking the gaze, and I didn't move away.

I lost myself in his gaze and I cursed myself at how well I knew he could read me. I knew that he loved me too and that it would be hard for me to leave, but I knew had to do it. I just had to keep telling myself that it's for the best.

All of a sudden he broke the gaze and our lips met. It was the best kiss I had had in five years. All comprehensible thought left my head in that kiss and I lost all my control. When we had to break away for air I realized that Logan had pinned me against the wall and my legs were around his waist, but I didn't recall moving.

I heard my daughters call of mommy and that was when my control and common sense came back. I pushed Logan away and it was obvious that he had heard it too, because he was looking at me with raised eyebrows.

I walked back into the room without saying anything to him and sat on the bed next to Alyssa. "Whats wrong, Lis?" I asked her.

"I was just wondering where you were. Can you tuck me back in bed Mommy and get me a glass of water?" she asked, looking up at me. I smiled, thinking that my daughter was becoming too much like me.

"Alright, but you have to go right back to sleep," I said as I got up. I got her some water and she took a big drink of it before handing it back to me. I set it on the nightstand by the bed and tucked her in before planting a kiss on her forehead.

"Mommy, who's that?" she asked, finally voicing the question I had been anticipating.

I turned and saw that Logan was standing in the doorway, watching me interact with my daughter. I swallowed and held back a sigh as I looked back at my daughter. "Just a friend of mine sweetie. Go back to sleep now. It's way past your bedtime," I said sternly, giving her forehead on last kiss before standing and walking to where Logan was. "Pleasant dreams, sweetie," I added before stepping onto the balcony when Logan moved out of my way and closing the door behind me. In the last second before the door closed I heard my daughter say goodnight mommy and I smiled as the door clicked shut.

Then I looked to Logan and remembered what I had to tell him and the smile slipped off my face. This time I avoided his gaze at all cost as I leaned against the wall and slid down into a sitting position, hugging my knees to my chest.

I was relieved when he finally broke the silence. "What's her name?" he asked and I could feel his gaze on me.

I was suprised at the question. Suprised enough to meet his gaze. "You aren't going to ask who her father is?" I asked.

"I figured if she was mine you would have told me, so it doesn't matter to me who she belongs to. She looks like you, she's already got your head tilt thing going on, too. How old is she?" he asked. I was shocked, to say the least, at how well he was taking it.

"Her name is Alyssa and she is four," I sighed and swallowed again, "Her father is the Sheriff," I said, looking down again and not wanting to say the name Leo. I sat there, waiting for his outburst. When he was silent I looked up, shocked once again.

I saw the realization pass over his face and he stood. I tried to figure out what he was thinking, but he had become better at hiding his emotions.

"We can just pretend this didn't happen," I suggested, still trying to read his emotions.

He just sat there, looking at me, as if asking why. I felt like I had to say something, so I did, "Logan, we can't."

As he looked at me I saw a flicker of emotion, I expected anger, rage, sadness, anything, the one thing I didn't really expect was hurt. The emotion was gone as soon as it came and he stoon and left, without saying a word.

I wanted to call him back, scream his name, anything to make him stay, but my voice wouldn't let me. I just stood there, staring at his retreating form. It felt like I was watching my future walk away, or maybe like my heart was being ripped out, or maybe a combination of both feelings.

I hadn't been sure how I would have dealt with the anger, but that was what I expected. The hurt was unexpected and probably the worst of all. I felt like I was deserting him all over again. He had offered me his heart and I had denied it.

After I heard the door to the hotel room click shut I turned and looked back over the railing of the balcony. I watched as he appeared and walked to his car. I watched him drive away without looking back.

Before long I take watching the road where he had disappeared anymore. I turned and slid down to the ground, not wanting to cry, but not really being able to stop the tears.

After a while I stopped myself, telling myself that I was not going to cry over Logan Echolls anymore. I had done that enough during the past five years of my life. I wiped the tears away and picked myself up off the ground before walking back into the hotel room and crawling into bed with my daughter.

**A/N: So, you know who the father is now. I know a lot of people wanted the father to be Logan, but don't give up hope yet. LoVe will be in the air. Oh, might I add that if you like Duncan, you shouldn't read this fic. It's not nice to him. Other than that may I say that reviews make me happy. I love getting reviews they help me write better and I appriciate them very much. So, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW!**

**Disclaimer: Once again, Veronica Mars, not mine, characters you don't recognise, mine.**


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

I awoke with a start, sitting up in bed. It took me a moment to remember where I was, but then the memories came crashing back to me. I lay back in bed before realizing that my daughter wasn't in the bed with me.

I sat back up and was looking around the room when I heard a toilet flushing and she walked out of the bathroom. I sighed as I got out of bed and smiled at her.

"How about we get dressed and then go out and get some breakfast?" I asked. She grinned and nodded before I dug through her bag and set some clothes aside on the bed for her.

After pulling some clothes for myself out of my own bag I dressed her. "I'm going to take a quick shower, don't open the door for anyone," I instructed before walking to the bathroom.

When I got out of the shower I wrapped a towel around myself and brushed out my hair. Then I brushed my teeth and put on deodorant before walking out of the bathroom. I took the towel off and put on the clothes that I had earlier laid out on the bed.

After I dressed I took out my little handbad that held all the things I had brought along to do Alyssa's hair. I made my daughter sit on the bed next to me and I put her hair in pigtails. After I finished with her hair I put the stuff away and pulled my own hair in a pony tail before looking for shoes. I had put on a white tank top and some jean shorts so I deided to wear a pair of flip flops.

"Okay, let's go," I smiled at my daughter once I had grabbed my purse and car keys. She jumped up from the chair she was sitting in and ran to the door.

I had just put her in the car, and was turning to go get in the drivers side, when I noticed a person walking across the street.

I ran across the street, calling his name. He turned at the sound of my voice, and looked mildly surprised to see me.

"What are you doing in town, V?" he asked as he approached me.

"Actually, we were just going to go out to breakfast. You're welcome to join us," I said gesturing to my car.

"Who's we?" he asked. I realized my daughter hadn't followed me so I called her over. When she reached me she hid behind my legs.

"Meet my daughter, Alyssa. Alyssa, this is another friend of mine from high school, Weevil," I said as I pulled her up into my arms.

"Nice to meet you kid," he said. "I can't go to breakfast now though. I got to go to work. I heard some rumors you were back, It's nice to know that they were true."

"Not for good, I came for the reunion and got sucked into helping with the Meg case," I replied. "Where do you work now?"

"I work as a mechanic, repairing cars," he replied. "We'll have to catch up later. Nice to meet you Alyssa," he said as he turned to leave.

"I'll see you later," I said as he walked away. I watched him leave before turning to my daughter as I walked to the car. "Where do you want to go to eat?" I asked her.

"I don't know Mommy, you pick," she replied. I smiled as we reached the car. I put her in the back and got in front of the wheel, deciding where to drive. I started driving, not entirely sure of where I was going. While I was driving I got an impulsive feeling in my gut that told me where to go.

I stopped in front of a Ihop that was near the Sheriff's office. My daughter followed me into the resturant. Once I entered I scanned the place and my eyes locked onto Leo's gaze. He motioned me over, so I picked up my daughter and walked to his table.

"Hello Veronica, is this your daughter?" he asked as I approached.

Alyssa turned in my arms to look at me. "Mommy, who is this" she asked. I knew she had always liked the fact that I was a police officer, so I decided to tell the truth.

"Umm, darling, I'd like you to meet the Sheriff. Leo, this is Alyssa," I said as I sat down. I sent him a look that said 'We can have that talk with her later,' as I sat down.

While we were waiting for the food to come I watched as Alyssa and Leo spoke. I started thinking about what might have been if Logan was her father instead of Leo.

I was into a full fantasy about that when I heard Leo clear his throat and felt a hand on my shoulder. I came back to the breakfast and looked at him. "Sorry, I was kind of zoning out there. Did you say something to me?" I asked.

He nodded. "I asked you if I can take Alyssa out for ice cream," he repeated.

"It's kind of early for ice cream," I said hesitantly. Then I noticed Alyssa's eyes pleading with me and I sighed. "Alright, fine," I agreed. She positivately beamed and gave me a hug. I watched and she ran to the door and Leo followed her. I saw him pick her up before they walked out the door. I heaved another sigh before standing and walking out to my car.

I decided to use the free time to work on my case and I was on the phone when I heard a knock on the door.

"Well thanks for your help. Can I call you if I need any other questions answered?" I asked the person on the other end of the phone line as I walked to the door.

I heard a yes before I said bye and opened the door as I closed my cell phone. I saw Leo holding a sleeping Alyssa and couldn't help but smile.

"She fell asleep on the way home from the park," he whispered as I took her from him. I walked over and layed her on the bed before walking out on the balcony and gesturing for him to follow me. I heard the front door click shut and heard him walk across the room and I was leaning against the railing when he walked out.

He laid his hand on my shoulder and I turned and his lips caught mine before I knew what was happening. The kiss was...nice, but it wasn't as breath taking as when I had kissed Logan. That was to be expected though, I guess.

"Veronica, I think we should be together. I love you and," he paused and got down on one knee, "Veronica, will you marry me?" he asked.

I was shocked, utterly, totally shocked. I didn't know what to do. I knew I couldn't be with Logan, but did I really want to be with Leo? It would probably be the best thing, so we could be a family, but what about my feelings? I had to do it, it was best for my daughter.

With that last thought, I nodded. "Yes, I'll marry you," I answered. He stood and kissed me again. Still not as good as Logan, but better than the last one.

I heard a knock on the door and I sat up in bed. "Thank God, it was just a dream. I can't marry Leo," I said to myself as there was another knock on the door. I get up and walk to the door. It was just like in my dream, with Leo holding a sleeping Alyssa. This time I didn't smile, just took her from him and moved away before he could talk.

I set her on the bed and sat next to her as he walked over. I quickly closed the file that I was looking at when I had fallen asleep and moved all my other files.

"Veronica, we need to talk," he said as he approached me. I nodded and walked out to the balcony.

I leaned on the railing and looked down at the street. He put his hand on my shoulder and I had a feeling of Deja Vu when I turned and he caught my lips with his. It felt exactly the same as the dream kiss had. I pulled away, anticipating a proposal.

"There was nothing there, was there?" I heard his voice from behind me. Suprised, I turned and shook my head.

"Veronica, I want to be a part of our daughters life, but are you positive that she is our daughter?" he asked as he looked at me.

"Well, I didn't take a paternity test, but I'm pretty sure that she is. If you want a paternity test we can get one," I answered, thinking of getting Logan's blood too, and how I was going to get my daughter's blood when she gets queasy around needles.

"Yeah, let's do that now. Do you think you can get a sample of her blood? I'll get mine and the test and stuff," he said.

I nodded. "I'll do my best at getting hers. It might be hard though," I laughed.

An hour later he was getting in his car so he could drive the test to the lab. I smiled as I watched him drive off, remembering how we had chased Alyssa around the hotel trying to get her blood. I sighed as I spotted Logan's yellow Xterra and walked over to it.

"We need to talk Ronnie," he said as he got out of his vehicle. I nodded before walking over to the passenger side and getting in. He looked at me for a moment, confused, before climbing back into the vehicle.

"We're going to talk here, Logan, but I can't talk long," I replied. I looked into his eyes and had to resist the urge to start making out with him. I forced myself to remember that we were in a car in public.

"Veronica, I love you. I thought I would be able to take it when you left and I did learn to deal with it. But seeing you again, I just realized how much I miss you and how much I need you," he said. I could tell in his eyes that he meant it, but I had to get out of the conversation before I actually lost all of my restraint.

"Logan, I just can't. I'm sorry," I said, getting out of the car. I had to struggle not to turn around and go back to his car as I walked back to the hotel room. Once in the hotel room I leaned against the door and slid down until I was hugging my knees to my chest and resting my head on them.

"Mommy, are you okay?" I heard Alyssa's voice. I looked up to see her standing next to me. I smiled and wrapped my arms around her, hugging her to my chest. I didn't want to let go just yet.

After about 10 minutes of hugging my daughter, I let her go. Not because I wanted to, but because there was a knock at the door. I sighed and stood, turning and opening the door after I did.

"What are you doing here?"

**A/N: So, what does everyone think of this chapter? Sorry it took a while to get it up. I've been meaning to get it up here for a couple days, but I've been sick so I haven't been able to get on my computer. REVIEW, please!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas and CW/ UPN do.**


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

I looked at him blankly. "I thought we should talk about Meg. You can ask me anything, you know," he offered with a small smile when he realized I wasn't going to say anything. He cleared his throat after a moment, when I still had the deer-caught-in-the-headlights look on my face. "Can I come in?"

I snapped out of the stupor I was in and stepped aside. "Oh, yeah, come in. Sorry, I just wasn't expecting you," I said in explanation.

He stepped in and I closed the door behind him. He didn't reply and when I followed his gaze I realized he was looking at my daughter. "Duncan, meet my daughter, Alyssa. Alyssa, this is Duncan, he's a friend of mine," I said before either of them could say anything.

He looked over at me, I guess he was surprised I used the word friend, and smiled before looking back at Alyssa. "Nice to meet you Alyssa," he said.

I nodded, "Alyssa, why don't you go play with your toys, Duncan and I have some adult stuff we need to talk about," I said to my daughter. She nodded, walked over and sat in the corner to play with some toys. I looked over at Duncan, "My files are all over here," I said, nodding towards the bed before walking over to it.

He followed me and sat down next to me when I sat down. "She looks just like you," he said, a small smile on his face.

I smiled back before opening the file. "What can you tell me about the person Meg is now?" I asked, trying to get away from the subject of my daughter.

He took the hint and started answering all my questions about Meg. We talk for hours, about Meg, my life, his life, Lily, not the original, and just about everything else.

A silence had fallen over us, a comfortable one, though. "Meg was cheating on me," he said suddenly, like he had been meaning to say it, but really hadn't wanted to ruin the mood.

I sat up straighter and looked over at him, my gaze searching. "How do you know?" I asked.

"Well, I never got concrete proof, but I could just tell. I don't know who with either. It's just instincts," he said softly.

"Well, Duncan, if she is cheating on you, or was anyway, the how do you know she wants to be found?" I didn't mean to ask that, not in those words, but the question was on my mind.

"This is just instincts, too, I guess, but I could just tell. Anyway, I know you're the only person who can find her, whether she wants to be found or not," he replied, in the same soft voice.

"I'll look into it Duncan, but I may just find out something you might not like," I said. I didn't want Duncan to be hurt, but it just might happen.

"I had a feeling you'd say something like that. I just have to know what happened to her, Veronica," he said, his eyes pleading with me.

After a brief moment of pause we went back to an earlier conversation. I have to admit, though, it felt good talking to Duncan like we were friends again, even after five years.

"Well, I should head home, but you can come over anytime you want. You can bring over Alyssa and she can meet Lily," Duncan said as he stood off the bed.

"I don't have plans for dinner tomorrow. I can see what I can find out tonight then tell it to you then," I said as I stood as well.

"That sounds great. Come by at around five," he said as we walked to the door of the hotel.

I smiled and gave him a hug, "Alright, see you then," I said.

He smiled back. "See you then," he said as he opened the door.

He was about to walk away when I said his name. He turned to face me again and I said, "It was nice talking to you again."

"You too, Veronica," he said with a smile before walking away. I watched him walk all the way to his car before closing the door to the hotel room.

"I like him, Mommy," Alyssa said from behind me, causing me to jump because I hadn't realized she was there.

"That's good sweetie. Are you ready to go to Grandpa's house?" I asked her when I turned to face her.

She nodded vigorously, "I like going to Grandpa's," she exclaimed.

"I know, that's why I told them we were coming over for dinner tonight," I replied as we left the hotel room and started walking toward the car.

"I like Grandma and Uncle Wallace and Aunt Jackie and my cousin, too!" she exclaimed as she started skipping.

"I know you do, but Grandpa spoils you the most. You better always remember that," I added. When we reached the car I helped her into the back seat before getting in the drivers side.

We were almost at my dad's house before Alyssa spoke again. "Mommy, why isn't Jacob here?" she asked.

I thought of making up some excuse, but decided she would have to find out sometime. I sighed as I looked in the rearview mirror at her, "Jacob and I broke up sweetie. He won't be living with us anymore. He left because he knows I'm in love with someone else."

She seemed to ponder this. "Are you still in love with Daddy?" she asked softly.

I sighed again. "Do you remember Logan? He was at the house the other night," I said, deciding to be truthful.

"Yeah, I remember him, he seemed nice. Does he love you, too?" she asked with a childlike simplicity.

"I think he does," I said with a shrug. "At least, he did."

"Then why can't you be together?" she asked me innocently.

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. I wasn't quite sure how to answer this, so I was thankful when we arrived at my father's house. "We're here. We can talk about this later, Lissa," I said to her.

She seemed to accept this, because when I let her out of the car she went running up to the front door and into the house.

I locked the car doors before entering the house. I walked into the living room to find my father sitting on the couch, with Alyssa on his lap and Alicia next to him.

"Hey Dad," I greeted him, bending down and giving him a kiss on the cheek. "Hey Alicia," I said as I bent down and gave her a hug.

My dad said, "How're you doing, honey?" as Alicia said, "Hello Veronica."

I shrugged in reply to my dad as I sat down on a chair.

I looked around the room. "Where is my little brother?" I asked, as Jackie came in from the bathroom.

"Which one?" she asked, as I hugged her.

"Either one," I replied with another shrug as she sat on a chair and Nicole came into the room and jumped into my lap.

"Darryl is at baseball practice and Wallace just went to pick him up," Alicia replied.

"How've you been?" I asked Nicole, because she had been trying to get my attention since she had climbed onto my lap.

"Good," she replied before hopping off my lap after Alicia stood and offered to take the girls out for ice cream.

"Do you know if Meg was seeing anybody, you know, besides Duncan?" I asked a little while later. Wallace and Darryl had come home, but we had sent them out to find Alicia and the kids. My dad had also been by, but he had to go do some more work.

Jackie paused to think about it for a minute. "You know, now that I think about it, she was seeing someone on the side," she said finally. I was going to ask who, but she continued. "Actually, I haven't seen him since her disappearance either."

"Well, who is it?" I asked after she had stay silent a little too long.

She grinned and laughed. "Patience has never been your best virtue," she said, still not answering the question. I threw a pillow at her and she caught it. "Alright, alright, she was seeing Casey Gant," she finally replied.

I felt the shock register on my face. "Are you serious?" I asked finally, when I had found my voice.

She nodded vigorously, getting into the gossiping and not trying to annoy me anymore. "He had a wife, too. In fact, nobody's seen her for a while either. She was new to Neptune before she married Casey. In fact, everyone was saying they jumped into marriage rather fast. Her name's Lisa," she informed me.

I sat there for a moment, trying to process the information. Finally I stood and shot a smile at her. "Well, I have a lot of work to do tonight. I'll see you later," I said.

She stood up after me, gave me a hug and followed me to the door. "What about Alyssa?" she asked.

"I'll call my dad and ask if he can keep her tonight," I said before getting into my car.

**A/N:** Sorry it's been so long since I've posted. I kind of don't have a computer right now, or internet acess most of the time. I dunno when I'll be able to post another chapter. It was written, on my computer, but then my computer died... that presents a problem. I might be getting a new computer soon, but until then it might be a while until I post. Thanks for reading my story and please review. Oh yeah, I know my story doesn't include the new season. I can't wait until they start showing new episodes again though!

**DISCLAIMER:** It isn't mine. I'm just borrowing it for a little bit.


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